Delusional Thoughts...

This picture was taken in June 1986.

Other than the fact that I have big hair (of course!, any self-respecting person did in those days), my DH has a skinny black leather tie on, and it looks like I am robbing the cradle (he still looks young, dang him!), I want to point something out.

See that dress? The black and white cow print dress? It was a size 8. I felt great in that dress. I am sure that it was a cheap dress. It was fitted through the waist, let out in the hips, then skinny through the legs. It also had large pockets in front (um, designers, what were you thinking?). I think out of all of the clothes I have ever had, I loved this dress the most, because I felt pretty, sexy, and fabulous in it.

This is where the delusion sets in.

I JUST -- and I mean 6 weeks ago -- JUST -- took this dress to Goodwill (because I am sure that someone else will just snap up that 21 year old dress that was worn three times -- NOT). For all these years, it was in my mind that I would fit back into that size 8 dress again. Um...then what? Wear it?

I do not think I will ever be a size 8 -- it was a struggle for me to get there even then, and I had to do horrible things to myself to stay there (ie: it was not healthy for me to be there, maybe we will talk about that another day!). I will settle for a size 10. As long as I can stay there and eat like a normal, healthy, weight-conscious person.

When I get there, I will buy myself a whole new wardrobe. I know Mark will buy it for me! My delusion was holding onto something for 21 years that just wasn't realistic. I let it go, bought some clothes that fit me now -- so that I can feel good about myself WHILE I am losing weight -- and I am moving on. Or should I say "moving down"?

Till next time -- eat less and move more : )